Why spirituality matters
I’m always a little hesitant to share my story and not because it’s so horrific or I’m afraid of triggering someone. Really it’s quite the opposite.
I grew up in the Indiana side of the Chicago suburbs. I had a pretty happy childhood. My adolescent years were a little rockier. I suffered from dysthymic disorder or “Eeyore Syndrome.” I knew how to put on a pretty smile and to the world I seemed pretty happy and got lucky, but mostly, I was just hurting inside. Things never seemed to go right. I drank in high school but there was never any drug addiction or abuse. I attempted suicide once, but that’s not what started my quest for spirituality. My parents were involved and loving. I’ve never been in a physically abusive relationship of any type. I was raped twice, but again that is not what set me on my spiritual path.
There is nothing really spectacular about my story. There was just always a calling or a knowing that there was more to the world. I just never felt like I fit in anywhere. There was always a longing to find my home.
I remember seeing my first ghost at the age of 6 or 7. When I talked about it, I was told that my eyes were just playing tricks on me, that it wasn’t real, or that I was crazy. I soon learned not to talk about such things and to “left brain” it away. I loved being in nature, and there was something about spirituality that intrigued me in high school, but it was not socially accepted. So, I never pursued it. In my early 20’s, I found yoga and wanted to be a yoga teacher. But again, at that time, it was not a social norm, and I didn’t pursue it.
I walked along the path others and society had laid out in front of me. I graduated high school and then college, obtaining a bachelors in Elementary Education. I worked in the school system for a time. I got married and had a child. I taught preschool while my son was young. But something was missing. There was a longing to fit in and to find a home. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family, and I loved teaching preschool, but there was just something that I couldn’t put my finger on. So, I went back to school and obtained a second Bachelor’s and then a Master’s in psychology. I worked as a case worker for several years, but that longing was still not satisfied.
It was during this time that Dr. Brian Weiss was on Oprah, discussing past life regressions. My mom of all people insisted that I watch the episode. There was that calling again. I could feel it deep in my soul like a tugging – an urge to pursue this path. I delve into this healing modality, going into deep meditation, remembering past lives full of trauma and abuse, and playing the victim time and time again. And before you ask, yes, I have been royalty time and time again. Believe me it is not all it is cracked up to be. I have also been a sheep herder and a prostitute and everything in between.
Shortly thereafter, Reiki came into my life. During my first session, I felt like I was spinning one way then another. At one point, my upper body was spinning clockwise and my lower counterclockwise. I felt a bit sick afterwards, but that sense of knowing was tugging at me again. I had never felt so alive and empowered. I took my Reiki Level 1 class a month later. I bawled through the attunement as I had finally found my home.
And here I am almost 10 years later, a Reiki Master Teacher, Past Life Regressionist, and Co-Creator of A Center of Transformative Growth. I provide Akashic Record Cleansings, read Angel and other oracle cards, and talk to dead people. I lead meditations, metaphysical discussion groups, and co-host breathwork sessions at the Center. I was all set to take a yoga teacher course and then COVID-19 hit, so it will be sometime soon. Has this path been easy, full of butterflies, unicorns, and rainbows? Nope, but it has been so worth it.