The power of positive self-talk

Are you familiar with the four levels of positive self talk?

Our life experiences shape our beliefs but when lives change and we grow as human beings sometimes our beliefs can hold us back. If you want to make change then start with your beliefs.

It’s the beginning of a new year, a new decade, a new anything. And at the same time while our hope for a change in our lives can be so appealing, even a deep-rooted desire, give it a day, a week, a month and you know what happens. Hope fades and we find ourselves feeling like failures again. It happens all the time. We start off strong at the gym or our new diet, we go back to work after the holidays telling ourselves we are going to stand up to our bosses and fight for that promotion we deserve, we vow to get off on a better foot in our relationships and stop yelling, communicate better, show patience and grace more often. 

Then change doesn’t happen fast enough. Unforeseen roadblocks frustrate us, and all that hope is replaced with discouragement. In walks negative thoughts and self-doubt to happily take over. “Of course, you can’t actually stick to exercising”, “You always cheat on your diet”, “That promotion is just hopeless”, “I’m never going to be able to get through to my spouse”.

So why is this? Why can’t we just persevere? Why do we give up so fast on the things that just a month or week before we wanted so badly? Sometimes roadblocks do happen that we can’t control. Maybe the gym burns down. But…a lot of the time we actually have the tools in our hands, and we just need to use them. One tool, the mother of all power tools in our human arsenal, the one that we have complete and total control over is our belief system. 

Our belief system develops over time through years, if not decades of experience. Our beliefs feel so very real to us because at some point or another we have gathered evidence that we feel supports them. Rarely do we stop to take a good objective look at them. 

So, what can we do? Follow these steps below to begin to reshape your beliefs, take away the power of your old beliefs, and spend more time making progress on your goals. 

  1. Dust off and examine your beliefs to find out what they are. Whether pleasant or unpleasant, capture what you believe about yourself (“I’m smart”, “I’m lazy”), what you assume is possible (“I can do anything I put my mind to”, “I’ll never be able to quit smoking”), and what you think about other people’s relationships with you (“My family is generally supportive”, “My coworkers never like my ideas”)

  1. Make a new pattern of your past beliefs to start reprogramming with positivity. Stop wasting your time and energy looking back to find out why you have the beliefs that are self-limiting today. It’ll just be a way to help you continue to resurface negative examples that might help you keep on verifying your old belief. Instead, look for instances when you actually did the opposite of your self-limiting belief, even if small. If you believe that you lack confidence, then look for times in your past when you were confident. Look for “I was confident when” not “I lacked confidence when” in your examples. 

  1. Imprint your new beliefs by telling your brain something good. Take 5 or 10 minutes a day and concentrate your attention as vividly as possible on one positive belief statement to imprint it into your subconscious. If your mind drifts as you do this, bring yourself back. Repeat it over and over; let your mind soak up the message. Whether verbally or mentally, this will activate new neurological patterns. In other words, your brain will believe what you think and speak. Move on with your day when you’re done; just remember to repeat this again each day until it becomes automatic.

  1. Take action on the new beliefs you are creating. The sooner, the better, and no matter how small or inconsequential the action may seem, do it. It is actually a huge step; it is a manifestation of reality. 

The power of positive self talk takes practice.

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Julie Brendich
Julie is the owner of Harmony & Success Personal Coaching, LLC. She’s a long-time leadership development expert having spent over 20 years working in multiple industries, helping leaders become more effective and successful. She works with clients on the wisdom of the “Midlife Awakening” and how it can be the catalyst for massive, positive life transformation in not just their careers but also in their most precious relationships, self-care, and spirituality. She holds advanced degrees in psychology and is credentialed as a Master Spirit Life Coach and Certified Professional Coach through the International Coaching Federation. A midwestern native from the suburbs of Chicago, Julie approaches the coaching process with her clients in a down-to-earth way where each client can be their true selves. It is her life’s purpose and biggest joy to help midlife women achieve their goals.
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