self-disruption, is this the key to lasting change?
We usually don’t appreciate the disruption that life brings, but when you become the agent of disruption of the YOU you have been being, you can consciously create the Masterpiece of your life.
Disruption is a word that brings along a lot of uneasy feelings. It usually evokes external circumstances that come to interrupt the flow of our normal lives, and in turn, create some form of chaos. We don’t like it. Life is wise, and it often brings about situations and circumstances that push us to face some long-overdue change we have been ignoring and turning our heads away from. And those circumstances can very well be health issues, among others. But the good news is, we don’t have to wait until Life throws disruption in our faces. There is a much better and gentle way: become the agent for disruption in your own life, starting by disrupting the YOU. That is, be the Agent and Subject of Disruption.
You, the agent of disruption
You will always be a gentler agent in charge of disruption than life. Life has to be harder, so you finally stop ignoring what is going on in your life and decide to take action. Life is loud so that you will listen. You first need to become aware that you are feeling stuck, maybe unmotivated, and that your normal life is having a “numbing effect” on you. You are in auto-pilot mode. It is simply better and easier to keep going, keep over-adjusting, let inertia do the job….and survive! You have to declare loud and clear: enough is enough! Unless you see this clearly, you will continue living in the fog, not feeling great but oblivious to what is going on.
The story of the boiled frog
Have you ever heard this story? It goes like this…
When a frog is thrown in a pot of scalding hot water, it will immediately jump out to save its life. It will use all the available energy to escape danger.
But when a frog is put into a pot of cold water, set on a burner to be warmed up, the frog’s body will adjust its temperature to the water’s temperature as it gets warmer. Little by little, no major effort is needed. When the frog cannot adjust its body temperature to the water’s rising temperature, it will feel the heat and the danger and try to jump out. This time, there is no remaining available energy to do so since it has been used to adjust to the water temperature. The frog will die… The frog adjusted without even realizing it was adjusting.
Can you relate to this story?
Does it resonate with you? Can you think of a life situation where you have been over adjusting? When we look at the asphalt, it can resist a whole lot of weight and pressure from the outside. But it will break from pressure from the inside. How much longer are you going to hold on? How much longer will you keep resisting and enduring?
You are the subject of disruption
Once you become aware and you declare enough that you want to change, the work starts. What will you be disrupting? What will you be changing in YOU? We tend to think that the outside has to change, that certain people must be excluded from our lives, or she/they must change. And that change happens, we will be happy. Unfortunately, that is not usually the case. Not very often do we realize that it is us that need to change. This doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with us; it only means that we have not created the life we want. It means that if you keep being and doing who and what you have being and doing for the longest time, the outer manifestation will remain the same. Your life will remain the same.
The pieces of the puzzle
What you have been had to do with an adopted identity, with learned ways of responding and relating to others, withholding on to beliefs that you take as “the truth” that don’t serve you any longer. It has to do with your way of masking and hiding emotions from you and others. You have to do with needing to belong and be accepted, with wanting to fit in, observing life, and what happens through the filters of your moods and judgments. None all this has to change if it still serves you to create the life you want, live well, and become that highest version of you.
Is this the case
If your answer is no, let’s start disrupting with some questions. By the way, questions are great disruptors.
- What are the core beliefs that guide you? Do they still serve you? Are they the truth? What would happen if you stepped away and adjust what you believe? Can you see yourself believing something different that will serve you today?
- Are you genuine, or are you saying Yes when you want to say No? Why do you fear to say No? What would people think of you? Would they still love you? Would you be saying no to the requestor to the person? How do you take it when somebody says no to you? Who are you saying no to when you say? Yes, when you would rather say No?
- What are the emotional states you live in, and what possibilities they close in your life? How those moods make you see life, possibilities for action? Where do those moods come from? What are you telling yourself? Can you change your story to change your emotional estate?
- Are your opinions and judgments supported by facts? What kind of narratives do they create for your life? Are they the truth, or can you change your perspective to change what is possible in your life? Your stories and narratives are the filters you see life through. Do you like what you see?
Wow! That is A LOT of questions, maybe too many to start with. But I wanted to show you how YOU -the agent, can start disrupting YOU – the subject, to move from feeling stuck and numb and unmotivated, to living a more conscious life, where you are aware of your inner making that is reflecting out there a life you might not be super happy with.
It is serious work but very rewarding. You and your life are a masterpiece in progress, and working hard on it from the inside out will be the path to using your inner power to build a life that shines for you, for others, and the world.