How do I start over in my 40s?

Do you want to know how I started over in my 40s?

When I officially started over, I had 45 bucks to my name and a 7-year-old. What was utmost in my mind, however, was not how I was going to start over – rather, it was the impatient flutter of butterflies anticipating my success. Our intention will set the stage for what unfolds in our future. Planning is key, but having faith in your back pocket will keep you going during those challenging times. 

Are you at the crossroads wondering how the hell do you start over when half your life is gone? No worries, sister – when you least expect it, your prayers will be answered. Until then you will map out the remainder of your life, so you can prevent or prepare for those unexpected shortfalls, and I am telling you they will come!

Now, you may be considering a divorce, a career shift, maybe totally reinventing yourself, and all I can say is knock yourself out – it will be a journey.  Whatever shift you are facing, know that planning is fundamentally one of the most important keys to all future successes.

I may have had only $45 to my name; however, I had a plan that included supplemental income on the side. I immediately began to build an emergency fund, to be used only when I was let go of my job and then some. 

What I am trying to say is this: Regardless of what you are facing, make a plan beginning with starting point A and ending point Z. All the in-between is the good stuff – the promotion, the new house, a new partner, maybe a few financial setbacks, a girls trip. The middle is where growth and opportunity happen. If you choose to do the work, it’s the hardest yet most rewarding part of the journey. The middle will have you both belly laughing and getting down on your knees, praying for guidance. I promise you if your plan is followed, you will get there. 

Besides my continued efforts of building my emergency fund, I mapped out my side hustle of practicing reiki/coaching knowing I wanted to be exactly where I am today, writing this article for my readers. I was laser-focused, and I still am. 

What aided in my journey were the following: 

• A new planner. Each year I invested my hard-earned money in a planner to keep me on track. May I suggest the She Is You life planner. Yes, I am plugging my product! Why? Because I designed this exactly for the woman who is starting over after 40. All of you fresh start ladies, grab one. It’s a great tool to keep you and your family on track. 
• Meditation and self care. I still practice these to this day. Meditation keeps me grounded and helps combat my triggers; deep breath work and affirmations tremendously helped reinvent my life. After all, I needed to reprogram a decades-long thought pattern of “you’re a failure” to “I am capable of achieving my deepest desires.” There are a ton of great free resources, such as YouTube, for meditation and yoga practices. 
• Affirmations. Sprinkling encouraging words to yourself all around your space can work wonders. Dollar store, baby! Run to your nearest dollar store for some index cards and write away. Keep these tucked-in spaces to which you have ready access. Your affirmations will pull you out of the most doubtful of moments and begin to retrain your thought process. 
• Therapy. I am the biggest advocate of finding someone to help you, someone who is licensed. Some charities and organizations offer resources to seek help if you don’t have insurance. 

Please remember you are NEVER, I repeat, NEVER, alone on your journey. There always will be someone walking a similar path. 

Cheers to you and your journey in 2022!

Felicity Nicole

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Felicity Nicole

Owner , She Is You

I’m Felicity Nicole, and I was born and raised in the Chicagoland area. A tomboy at heart, I can be found hair up, favorite sweatshirt on, cooking up something yummy for my family. I am remarried to a wonderful man who totally gets me (woohoo!)., It turns out God does give us second chances! I am now a stepmom to two adult children who are super beautiful and a nonstop blessing in my life. Watching my son play baseball is by far my greatest joy. I am a transformational coach and Reiki Practitioner on a mission to help women redesign their lives. This mission comes directly from my own personal experience with self-discovery. From an abusive marriage to a healthy, fulfilling relationship, through multiple careers and a lifetime of coaching the women in my own life, what I realized is that I have always had power and tenacity deep within me…I just needed to let it thrive again. My courage and determination to walk away into the unknown and redesign my own story is a shining example that where there’s a will there’s a way. On the lighter side, I like my pizza thick and layered in meat and cheese (remember, I’m from Chicago). I spent 22 years in the veterinary field, where I brought home WAY too many fur babies. And if I had one thing to bring with me to a desert island, it would be coffee.

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felicitybuddig@yahoo.com

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